the art of being present

Recently, I was in San Francisco and found myself observing the city's homeless population. I would find myself looking at them from a restaurant noticing a nice man giving a homeless person a small bag of chips, another lady letting an older homeless gentleman pet her golden retriever as she was walking past him. In both of these moments I felt sadness, joy, confusion, a feeling that there are good people in the world, determination to find an answer, and compassion. If I were not in present time I would not have seen these acts of kindness when they thought no-one was watching. It profoundly changed the way I looked at how I could make a difference, and I was humbled as I thought about how I live in a city with very few homeless people.

I realize that for most of us, very little of our time is spent in this present state. However, if we take time to "BE" in present time, and see, feel, listen to our thoughts and feel our hearts, we would have a sense of who we are being in that moment.

The definition of "being" is: "Have life, have being, exist, live, be alive." But while we've all heard the word "being" used regularly, chances are we don't really know or think about what it means for ourselves.

The art of being is expressing your state of being, your essence, who you have been your whole life. This is the "Being" who feels deeply, who laughs, who cries, who smiles, who gets fired up about life and the things you love in life.

But how much time do we actually spend "being" in the present and not thinking about the past or future? In shedding some light on this subject, I hope to point out a state that could reveal a better way to express who you are.

I used to have a license plate that said, "Just Be," and people would often ask me, "Just be what?" With a smile I would think to myself, "This cannot be expressed, but experienced."

We have a choice every moment of our lives about who we choose to "Be." Wouldn't it be a lot better to be who we are instead of who we think we should be or who someone else thinks we should be? I truly believe that who you are being is much more powerful than what you are doing in life.

For instance, how many times have you heard people say that they are doing all the right things, but the results are not what they want or reflect who they are? They might want to start looking at who they are "being" first.

One of my clients had a difficult time being present, so we explored some of the many ways to "BE." She started off by setting a reminder on her phone to once a day stop what she was doing and just "BE" for one minute. She increased it to five minutes and then 10. This was a huge accomplishment for her. Additionally, since two of her favorite activities include music and reading, she created time for five minutes a day to read and dance.

This was enough to give her a sense of being present. All the stress she was feeling started to go away and she was able to notice more things in the moment like a little girl on a bike and a neighbor that was painting a table bright colors. Her life became more full and calm, and she started to see what was right in front of her and all around her as if she had new eyes.

You could have the so-called perfect career, family and life, but not being yourself will result in consequences that are not in alignment with your true self and best life. The impact you can make on your life and others is directly proportionate to who you are being.

For one client who was unhappy with her job, we implemented a plan that allowed her to start living and being happy regardless of what was happening around her. We talked about who she was "Being" when she was her best self. She decorated her office with items to remind her who she wanted to "BE." Among them were a picture of a sun, a beautiful plant, and quotes that touched her soul.

A few weeks passed, and she reported that she was feeling happy and fulfilled again. Not only was she happier, but also she noted that other employees were happier as well. They commented on her new state of "Being" and how that made a difference in their job

Take time to look at who you are "Being" in your life, and if the results are not what you want, perhaps you, too, should make a change from the inside out.

 

Here are some suggestions to help you get started:

1.)  Set a reminder on your phone at least five times during the day to put actually put down the phone (or step away from the computer screen) for a moment and look to see what is around you. Breath slower and deeper than normal; notice how your body is feeling.

2.) Try on different ways of "Being" around others. Notice how you feel and when you feel more yourself.

3.) Notice how people react around you, then make a mental note if these are reactions you want.

4.) Remember a time when you felt your best, and how you were feeling and acting. How did others react to you? If reactions were positive, try to recreate those previous actions and see if you don't get similar results.

5.) Create an environment that reminds you of who you want to "BE." This could be as simple as posting a picture of yourself at your best, a piece of jewelry, or elaborate as redecorating your room, home or office. My client painted the door from her garage to her home yellow to remind her to shine her light.

Posted on September 18, 2016 by sharon backurz.

the art of being present


What does it take to "Be Present?" Life coach and author of "One Hundred Hearts" shares tips to help you life more fully in the moment.

Posted on July 10, 2016 by sharon backurz and filed under Video.

the art of being


Discover the definition of "BEING" and learn 3 tools to learn what the sense of "BEING" means and how it will help you live a more fulfilled life.

Posted on July 10, 2016 by sharon backurz.

the truth never lies

My world changed recently with a new awareness about something I feel we all are faced with every day: Truth.

The past few months I was in a funk, feeling as if I was not able to take the next step I needed in my career. Everything started to feel stressful, heavy and cloudy. As a life coach, I knew this is not the headspace one should be in, nor a space that the universe likes to create for you.

At the same time, I was coaching with my Mentor Master Coach, (coaches need coaches, too!), and I kept noticing the subject of truth started to show up everywhere. Not only was it happening in my own sessions, but also my own clients were talking about truth during our coaching sessions as well. I knew instinctively this was not by accident. During one notable session with my Master Coach, we talked about the importance of our clients trusting us. We then looked at how important it is to trust ourselves in order for others to trust us. What a concept!

I want to take this opportunity to share what transformations are available when we allow space and time to let new perspectives show up in our lives.

I first looked within myself and simply asked, "What would I tell my client?" The answer was as simple as two words: "Let go." Let go of the “must have” on any particular outcome. Let go of the stress or tension around your desire to create something. Let go and trust that life has good intentions to support you. If you don't let go to the idea of other possibilities, you'll never see that the best solution might be right in front of you. This is where you get out of your head and into your heart and intuition. Trust plays a big role here. Most people are stressed because they cannot let go of anything in their life, but life just doesn't work that way. One often finds that the tighter you grasp onto whatever it is that you think you can't live without, it is actually the same thing that is blocking your path or may be the thing clouding the picture or path laid out for you.

I tell my clients to use the formula: "Attention, Intention and No Tension." Attention is getting clear on what you want. Intention is taking action towards what you want. No tension is letting go, staying in a calm place and trusting the correct outcome will come to you. Most people miss the third step, trying to force a situation that is not in alignment with the truth. I took my own advice.

I let go of all control of any outcome. I made a conscious intention that I would receive the answer.  When I was inspired, I would take a small step forward in the direction I thought I should go, and then I continued to "let go." For example, when I was creating the cover for my book, One Hundred Hearts, I had a picture in my mind on how it should look. I contacted a designer, who proceeded to send me four drafts that were nothing like I pictured. I started feeling stressed and anxious, and then used my own advice and let go of any worry and waited for the right answer. The next draft was even better than the picture I had in my mind. The Universe sent me something even better.

One turning point was while I was doing good old-fashioned homework. My Master Coach had me write two lists: one that listed how I could trust more in others and one listing ways I could trust more in myself. It was a revealing process. I discovered I did have a level of self-doubt that caused me to not trust others and myself, of which I was completely unaware. I thought I had done all the work needed in this area, and was the most trusting person there was. The problem was, I did not trust myself 100 percent. This realization set off a dramatic shift inside causing me to immediately begin trusting myself, striving for that goal of trusting myself always 100 percent. That shift opened all the doors inside me that had been shut the past few months.

On the other side of the door was clarity. I immediately began trusting my knowingness, my instincts, and my confidence, and perhaps most importantly, I rediscovered my ability to help my clients find their truth so that I could create even more trust with them. I must admit that fully carrying out my own advice wasn't an overnight process, but rather, a process that took several months for me. But here I am now, trusting myself to go out and do and be who I know I am meant to be in my professional and personal life.

I've always connected to a quote that I think fits perfectly for this conversation: “Unless your heart, your soul, and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness." –  Anonymous

I invite you to join me in opening a few doors of your own, and unlock the truth and confidence that is waiting to burst out. But how do you take that first step toward letting go that I've been talking about? We all know the first step can sometimes be the hardest. First, take some time to do the same trust exercise that I did. Start with writing down a few ways you, too, can be more trusting with others. Perhaps ask yourself, "When do I not trust myself around others?" or "When do I feel others are not trustworthy?" Second, make a list of how you can be more trusting with yourself. "How can I trust myself more?" and "How can I show up fully in my life?"

Be sure to allow yourself space and time in order to gain new perspective, then step back and be ready as the doors open for you, too. "Let go" of old ideas and let the magic begin!

With love, magic and truth,

Terry   

Posted on June 8, 2016 by sharon backurz.

five steps to identifying your true self

This article appeared in Great Health Guide 
Read it here >>

Have you ever had times when you think to yourself, ‘I want to be so many things and so many different people all at once, but I only have one life? How do I choose?’ 

I know that I have those moments. Sometimes they come as a contemplative thought, other times as a slap in the face in the middle of the night. Don’t even ask where my mind goes then. 

It’s akin to being in one of those designer cupcake shops, with all the different flavored and decorated delicacies pulling you in every direction. ‘Should I go for the butter crème frosting, or the red devil’s food cake? Hmmm. Maybe the key lime? Oh heck, just give me all of them!’ To say the least, it can be a dizzying experience that leaves us frazzled. And, at the risk of comparing it to a cupcake, life is often that way too. 

Maybe it’s a compilation of the movies we watch, the magazines we read or the constant stream of internet that tantalizes our imagination to crawl into someone else’s adventure or intriguing tale because it looks so much more appealing than our own. Perhaps it’s a lack of focus when it comes to organizing our thoughts, dreams and priorities. Whatever it is, there seems to be something about some beautiful place or accomplished person that appeals to us more than our own life. 

If we only took the time to look at our own story, we would most likely find that it is more intriguing, adventurous and appealing than anything we read in a book, watch on television or imagine the beautiful model’s life on the pages of Vogue Magazine. It is when we begin to acknowledge our innate ability to craft our own life story and make our own choices that we truly grow into the person we want to be. 

As amusing and witty as this might seem, it’s a frank way to summarize the truth. It is impossible to be yourself if you don’t know, understand and accept yourself. It should be your primary goal to find this out. 

Yes, simply put, you’ve got to do the work. Find the time to learn what you value and take time to consider what makes up the essence of who you are. It is not so much a question of deciding who you want to be, rather, it is a question of discovering who you are. Everything you are is already inside of you – sometimes you just need a little guidance on finding the right key to unlock the vault.

 5 steps designed to help you identify just who you are.

1. Just because you think or visualize something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Take some time to ponder this thought. What things are engrained in your mental thought processes that could use some housecleaning?

2. We all have baggage. Some you were born with, some you picked up along the way. How might you be able to segregate this baggage into categories and start to deal with the most immediate problems? As you move through this process say to yourself, ‘I will continue to acknowledge this baggage, but I won’t allow it to negatively influence my life.’

3. Write a list of the things that are most important to you in your life. Hint: Think of all the areas of your life – and don’t be surprised if that list requires more than one sheet of paper.

4. Who you are is more important that what you are doing. Actions speak louder than words and action expresses priorities. Be yourself first. 

5. Clarify what you are passionate about. Ask yourself, ‘why am I doing what I am doing or why am I not?’ Ask yourself if what you are doing creates joy and fulfillment. Do you feel expanded or contracted? 

Take the time to learn what you value and time to consider what makes up the essence of who you are. Only then will you identify your true self.

 

Posted on February 16, 2016 by sharon backurz.